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It has been a long time since I posted a good ol fashioned blog. I have been incredibly busy these last couple of weeks and with all the crap going on I think it would be good to get it all out.

I recently started an apprenticeship with the Austin Film Festival. I applied for this way back in June and had pretty much given up hope when I got called in for an interview. About a week later, I was told I got the gig and I’ve been working there for about two weeks.

So far I’ve really enjoyed it. Everyone there is really nice and I’ve got the opportunity to watch more indie films than IFC has showed in the past week. As the festival nears it is going to get a bit more crazy.  I’m actually excited about that because it might mean the opportunity to do more things.Of course, in typical Morgan fashion, all is not sunshine and rainbows. I have a bit of a dilemma and I have no idea what to do. 

Around the same time I interviewed for my apprenticeship I also interviewed for a new job. Its a counselor position that teaches kids about film and media. I applied kind of for s’s and g’s so you can imagine my surprise when I got the job. I was excited when I got the job but then I realized I was seriously overbooked. My apprenticeship, my 1st job, and now this new job. How the hell was I gonna do it all?

This new job is part time and so is my current one. Add my apprenticeship into the mix and I’m basically working 47 hours a week.( I should note that for one of these jobs I won’t be getting paid). I should only work one job but tbh I’m not really in the financial position to do that. The money I saved at my second job earlier this year is steadily decreasing and will soon be gone. I need a plan and fast.

Of course, I could just skip all the part time job bullshit and just get a full time job. But oh yeah, the economy sucks, entry level jobs are disappearing, and I’ve literally applied to 100+ jobs since I graduated and no luck so far.

I’m trying to be very realistic about this whole thing. I cannot work 3 jobs. I’ve already tried my go at being Superwoman back in college taking 19 hours. Yes, I passed my classes and maintained my GPA but I also gained a lot of anxiety in the process. I was constantly worried about finishing an essay or script or newsletter or project. Just thinking about it is giving me terrible flashbacks and refuse to put myself in that position again.

At the same time I’m trying to be excited too. Yay, I got a job! Something is better than nothing right? Take the job, you need it. 

I should note that I can’t work all 3 jobs at all my normal hours. However I could work one on the weekends and that would greatly reduce all the crazy running around. But then that means I’m working 24\7 and like I said before Superwoman is not a good look on me.

I have been thinking about this for a good three days now and I still have no idea what I’m going to do. Even though I feel like I rambled, I do feel like I at least sorted my thoughts out. I think I’m going to crunch the numbers some more and maybe I will figure it out. Or who knows? Maybe I can talk to my current boss and we can figure out a schedule that isn’t so crazy.

Until next time,

Morgan

heartyglobe:

filed under: things celebrities say that the media sweeps under the rug to continue making controversy over them being “awful role models”

My Top 10 MTV VMA Performances

It’s finally here: music’s biggest night, the MTV Video Music Awards. Or maybe it’s music’s wildest night. Between Miley Cyrus sexually assaulting a foam finger to hijacking award speeches the VMA’s can get pretty wild. And while I definitely look forward to all the shocking moments, I never forget why the awards are held in the first place: the music.

I LIVE for VMA performances. Ever since I was little I have looked forward to seeing my favorite artists perform. And since most artists that perform always go out of their way to entertain in a new way, I often walk away liking an artist I never really cared for before.

There have been dozens of VMA performances during my short 23 years that I have grown to love. But for the sake of time and people with short attention spans, I have decided to compile my top 10 favorite VMA moments. Obviously the list focuses more on entertainment than shock value so its more dancer oriented(sorry Miley). The performances are also listed in no particular order because I’m sorry but who the hell can choose just one as their favorite?

Without further ado, here is My Top VMA Performances:

1.Madonna-Vogue

At the 1990 Video Music Awards

Yes I wasn’t even born when she performed this. But I have always loved this performance. There’s elaborate costumes, intricate choreography, and tons of sass.

2. Justin Timberlake-Video Vanguard Award medley

At the 2013 Video Music Awards

Ahh, JT. Obviously he’s a great performer but this performance was amazing. He stayed dancing almost the entire time and was never once out of breath for the almost 16 minute performance. But enough about him, the real gem of this performance was N’SYNC. I was never a big boy band fan but ngl this performance tugged at my nostalgia heartstrings. Seeing Lance, Chris, Joey, JC, and JT back together again was awesome because let’s be real, it’s probably not gonna happen again anytime soon.

3.Chris Brown feat. Rihanna- Wall to Wall, Umbrella,Kiss KissLately there haven’t been many good things to say about Chris Brown. But once upon at time, he was strictly known for his stellar dance moves and this video will show you why. Say what you want to say about him but he is talented. Not many people can captivate Hollywood’s finest by dancing on their dinner tables but he did. Add in Rihanna’s signature ‘Umbrella’ and a Michael Jackson tribute and you’ve a performance for the history books. RIP 2007 Christ Brown.

4. Lady Gaga-Paparazzi

At the 2009 Video Music Awards

There was a lot that went on at this particular VMA show so if you wanted to stand out you really had to go all out. And that’s exactly what Lady Gaga did. She killed herself on stage and had blood running down her chest and her dancers in fucking crutches and I LOVED IT. Oh and did I mention she can play the piano with her toes? Not bad Miss Germonatta.

5. Britney Spears-Oops..! I Did It Again\ (I Can’t Get No)Satisfaction

At the 2000 Video Music

This is one of those performances that literally everyone has seen because it’s just that iconic. Britney has had a lot of memorable VMA performances and ngl, I had a hard time just choosing one. I love this performance the best because of the choreography. I distinctly remember watching this as a kid and wanting to dance just like her. I also remember my mom saying Britney was “just trying to be like Janet” and I have to agree. I think that’s why I liked it so much because it took a little bit from the 80’s\early 90’s style of Janet Jackson.

6. Janet Jackson-Scream(tribute to Michael Jackson)

At the 2009 Video Music Awards

I have no idea how Janet Jackson performed a tribute to her brother without crying. Also I have no idea how Janet performed in perfect time with her brother without even seeing him! She really went for it in this performance and reminded us all of why there no family like the Jackson family.

7. Eminem-The Real Slim Shady\The Way I Am

At the 2000 Video Music Awards

I LOVED this performance as a kid. I thought it was so cool that he started it outside and had so many doppelgangers. I also thought that despite him having dozens of mini-me’s all the attention still focused on him.

8. Florence and the Machine- Dog Days Are Over

At the 2010 Video Music Awards

This performance was very simple. It was really just Florence singing her heart out. But why that’s why I love it so much.

(I had a hard time finding the original video so excuse this crappy collage one)

9. Beyonce- Ring the Alarm

At the 2006 Video Music Awards

I have no idea how Beyonce came up with the concept cause it doesn’t have much do with the song but it was flawless. Her vocals were on point, her backup dancers in sync, and eight years later I am in love with this choreography.

10. OK Go-Here It Goes Again

At the 2006 Video Music Awards

The music video to this song was one of the first really big videos on YouTube. I remember everyone at school talking about it and no matter who you were, you had seen the video. I was super surprised when I heard they were going to duplicate the video on stage. I was even more surprised when the choreography was completed flawlessly. Nowadays it’s hard for a band to stand out among all the pop acts but OK Go held their own.

It seems like every time I get on social media I see a comment talking about Dead Poets Society or Aladdin or Flubber or any of the other amazing films Robin Williams appeared in. I wasn’t a huge fan of Robin Williams but when I heard of his passing, I was instantly heartbroken. Celebrity deaths are always shocking but they never feel real. However, hearing someone has taken their life has always hit close to home for me.

I have dealt with depression on and off for almost half of my life. It is something I deal with everyday and is the hardest thing I will ever deal with. Honestly I haven’t been able to talk about it with a lot of people I know. Most people just don’t understand it. I’ve been called insecure, dramatic, and unappreciative. Then there are the people who think that everyone deals with being unhappy and I should just “deal with it”.

A lot of people seem to be surprised by the fact that Robin Williams committed suicide. I’ve always known that a lot comedians use comedy to help with their depression so I wasn’t completely surprised. But I have heard a lot of questions that sound all too familiar. Didn’t he have a great family? Wasn’t he filthy rich? Didn’t he spend most of his life doing what he loved? Then why was he so unhappy?

When I was younger, I thought my life would be perfect if I could just be rich,do what I loved, have everything I want. But over time I learned that’s it’s just not that easy. For a lot of people, depression is something that is deep inside of you. It can stay hidden for months, even years and then suddenly emerge out of nowhere. For example,I have always had an interest in film and this summer I got the opportunity to work on a web series. During the 6 weeks of filming, I got to learn the ins and outs of being on set, meet awesome people, and finally do something I love. After filming wrapped, I went on FB to find more projects to work on. Suddenly my feelings changed.

"Why am I doing this? No one is going to hire me. No ever hires me. No one wants me. I’m just a waste of space." These negative thoughts go around and around like a carousel until I can’t even remember why I was happy to begin with. 

I cannot pretend to know the exact reasons behind Robin Williams’s death. But I know his struggle and fight. I don’t understand how he could be so open about his depression with the world. But I understand by telling your story, you can raise awareness. 

Everyone has been talking about how we should remember his work and legacy. While I agree, I also think we should focus on his spirit. We should remember how brightly it burned and how quickly it went out. We should realize that everyone has their bad days and no matter how small things may seem, they can make a big difference on someone’s life.

Depression is something that affects so many people. While every situation is different, I know that every situation is a constant fight. And maybe you don’t know the fight, but you can help win it.

floozys:

boys will be bo-“

*flies in* 

*punches you in the face*

bOYS WILL BE HELD RESPONSIBLE FOR THEIR ACTIONS LIKE EVERYONE ELSE 

captn-bucky:

bellecosby:

I wonder how many stranger’s stories we make it into? You know, maybe someone saw you in passing and told their friends about how pretty the girl in the lavender sweater was. Or maybe they overheard you say a joke and repeated it to their friend, confessing that they heard it from some guy at the store. 

I think about this all the time